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 Thursday, May 14: So much has gone by, yet i still feel like crap

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PostSubject: Thursday, May 14: So much has gone by, yet i still feel like crap   Thu May 14, 2009 12:28 am

Lately I have had a bunch of time on my hands so I figure I'll start coming back to the site daily, posting what goes on in my life daily, for those of you who care.

Hmm... lets see, since sunday night my throat was hurting badly and now that i got meds today (w00t!) it dont hurt anymore but i gotta take 'em til i run out.


Haven't been in a relationship since early March, when my last one ended, so just been foolin around n shit. But of course its w/ ppl i have feelings for. Eh, im not too proud of myself for it, but hey, im single and need my own dosage of fun every once in a while.

School sux as usual, kinda giving up on it yet only failing 2 classes. It's surprising actually lol.


Kinda having difficult time figuring out who I am at this time in my life. I mean like, i know im me, but i just dont know who i've become and if i like it at all. Idk... its kinda hard to explain really. =/

Umm... going to move again at the end of may or beginning of june *sigh* it will still be in the area that im living in now but basically wont be living in my grandparents house anymore, it will be just me and my dad. He plans on going on hellaz fishing trips on most weekends and if i stay home, i would have the place to myself. Wink


I've realized that I have emotional problems when it comes to relationships. My mind plays tricks on me or is disfunctional or something. I noticed that no matter what qualities the guy has, if he's hot and i get into a relationship w/ him, i develop feelings for him and feel as if i love him. Idk whats wrong but i know that i have no clue how to fix it.

inuyasha and where da hell did the show inuyasha go??? i miss it... i remember thinking how koga was sooo hot and wished he was real and he'd sweep me off my feet and take me away from all my problems and worries.
i WANT, NEED, DESERVE, someone who would be my koga and not have to worry about anything when im w/ him and always feel protected... i know it seems weird relating a fictional character to a possible person but hey, who hasnt?!?!


lol! anyways.. back to my daily schtuff..........

monday, went to school for about half an hour, when throat was buggin me to the point i couldnt concentrate on work so finished my project and txted my dad sayin if i should have the nurse send me home.. went home, slept.
tuesday, missed school, more sleep, went to thyroid doctor and she said i hafta go to pediatrician
wednesday, went to pediatrician and got meds
now its thursday... VERY EARLY lol Razz got bored so on here blogging or w/e u wanna call it psh...

so not much been happening this week

but like OMG the time i've been home, been messaging my friend matt dougan who goes to my school, a senior, whenever he gets online after school and he is amaaaazing =]
i think i like him a lot and hes been hellaz flirty yet idk if he likes me back
im not gonna expect it to turn out how i hope, just expect to stay how it is now... friends
cuz whenever i think it will turn out into a relationship, and it turns out rly badly, i get upset n shit
he may not look perfect but everything else about him is
he wants to be a detective at some point and i totally support it
i could definitely see myself in a relationship w/ him teehee lol!!!!!!

so ya.. hes my main focus lawlz lol!


so yeah, to sum it up...
everything is absolutely perfect yet horribly wrong...
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Thursday, May 14: So much has gone by, yet i still feel like crap
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