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 No Idea for a Topic name Just Need to Write it all Down.

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Hetrovono
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Number of posts : 411
Age : 27
Location : St Louis
Registration date : 2008-02-11

PostSubject: No Idea for a Topic name Just Need to Write it all Down.   Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:44 am

I told myself I wouldn't go here again because I remember everyday how much it hurt last time. There was never a day where I was unsure of what I wanted last time it was exactly where I wanted to be and no one could talk me out of it believe me they tried. "I wish I loved you" - The first girl to break my heart. I heard that quote a few times and every time I heard it I thought it was closer to becoming reality and no longer being a wish. I don't know what is going to happen this time. I don't think anyone can ever predict the future. I know I can dream about the future and work towards that dream but there is no way to see what is to come. The world is a place where anything can happen and we are usually unable to stop it. The times when we do however are our greatest moments. There maybe a million things that could go wrong but if one thing that you want goes right no one can take that away from you. You had to fight against the world for it, so it's yours. That's how I feel this time last time it was something I didn't have and I kept fighting for it. This time it's something I have and I need to fight to keep it. She's the last thing I could've ever predicted but she's also the last thing I'd want to lose. After last time I know I would survive if I lost her but I don't want to survive it. I want to make it work. Don't know if it will because of the change I need to undertake to help it along. This change is underway and I made a step all on my own. Don't think this is on this site anywhere but I have always felt like my purpose was to help people. Three days ago I realized something. I always try to help people but I always feel like I was doing just to be nice or because they needed it and I really wasn't busy at the time. That's not it, I was given a purpose so three days ago I asked God to help me with the purpose He gave me. It was something I never thought I would do but it just felt right. I was his creation and I'm running around trying to live up to my purpose without His help. Yes I can do it, but without His help it won't go as far. He gave me the purpose if it is going to be used to it's full potential I need Him every step of the way when I'm talking friends through their problems. This post would be worn out if it was paper and I'm worn out from writing. I'm worn out from feeling so old and being around so much youth. I'm worn out from all the love and have and being forced to keep it to myself because the world is still out there and I need to move forward before I can let it all out. I love her too much to hurt her and I love her too much to keep her from the life she's headed towards. I just hope that those two things and maybe her loving me back a little we can get out of here together and not have to say good-bye.

That however is what I have to say to you all. Good-bye. I will post again when I'm feeling like I can only write what I'm thinking.

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